Self Worth is Different From Self-Esteem.
I remember when my therapist said this to me. Yes I have a therapist TOO. I am very open about it and find power in saying it unapologetically.
You want to know what in recent years has been the best tool to build up my self worth. Get ready because I don’t think it’s something that you are expecting to hear. It was achieving success after devastation. No my worth isn’t connected to my bank account and or how many homes I sell. However achieving success in spite of significant devastation, yeah that really makes me feel good and confident in a way that I never felt before. That is the thing that lights me up from the inside out. Proud of myself, proud of my work, proud of my grind on the hard days.
So the best advice I can give you in achieving higher levels of self worth is first, realize that no matter what, you are valuable and truly unique. This will not only help in valuing yourself but others around you at all times. It will effect how you treat not only people, but the spaces you are in and material possessions you have.
Secondly, examine yourself, your upbringing, your enivorment and see what messages you were taught that you learned early on and are continuing to be hear. Every person, place and thing you interact with tells you about the messages you have learned. For example, for me I had an incredible full time working mother who not only showed me the value of independence and education in order to have personal freedom, but also was a teacher. All the people in my family were in helping professions. I didn’t have an example of a BOSS, of a business man or woman. I did get my master’s degree and always have worked to make sure I can be independent of anyone else. But I believe I steered away from business because I didn’t believe that was smart enough or powerful enough.
Finally. Figure out what you love, and become disciplined. That has been my biggest confidence builder and self worth booster. Experiences and discipline have been necessary to work towards my goals. Now I truly know and believe what my mother told me as I grew, “You can do anyting you want to do”. It only took 38 years, hahaha, but hey, better late than never. So find that passion and make it happen. Be dicisplined with your goals, hire a coach, take care of your body and mind everyday. Feed your soul and bounce back when you get hit down. Another Janet (my mom) quote “Just keep moving”. Just like building muscle or any other habit, the beginning is the hardest, but hey, if I miss the gym now my muscles don’t disappear! Make the tough choices, the ones that show yourself you really love yourself too much to make toxic or stagnant choices in life. Make the decisions everyday that scream from the rooftop that you love yourself! Get up early, go to bed on time, drink lots of water, limit your drinking, meditate, exercise, eat real food, have ONLY people around you that fill you up and tell you the truth always. And when you indulge, make it short and sweet so you can get right back on track and continue to LOVE YOURSELF DAILY.
I have said this a million times before and I will continue to scream it from the rooftops. I am my biggest fan, I know I can do anything. But! Wait for it… There’s nothing about me, that I have, that you don’t. That’s right. YOU, you have it all inside of you. You just have to take the small steps that are scary and feel big but that will start the beginning of the new life you want.